Why Stress About Stress?

When you think about stress, you are actually adding to the stress. So, what exactly are you stressing about? Often, not being able to articulate the stress or concretely ends up strengthening the stress further.

I like to put stress under three buckets. Let me outline what those are and what your strategies could be to handle those.

The stress of things not going as expected

Unexpected traffic while trying to reach the office on time for a meeting? Passed for a promotion? Your kid did not get into a college you expected her to get into? Bad performance review? The list goes on. There will always be things that will not go as expected. We experience small versions of this every day and they tend to leave residual thoughts in us.

What can you do about this stress?

You cannot always control an outcome because Outcome = Your Efforts + Things out of your control. So, just because the brain generated cortisol (since it doesn’t know any better) does not mean that you need to respond in a fight or flight mode. A better strategy is to just accept that all outcomes cannot be controlled and instead do two things. Firstly, focus on your efforts and evaluate if there is anything you can try changing. Secondly,  remind yourself of one or two things you are thankful for. As this article shows, gratitude can not only reduce your stress levels by reducing cortisol but actually change your brain chemistry. So, next time you feel stressed about something that didn’t go your way, think about the things that DID go your way.

Stress of anxiety

Waiting for the results of the interview? Checking your emails every few seconds to see if the client has signed the contract?  5 minutes before your performance review discussion? Meeting with the top boss for the first time? All of these lead to stress of anxiety. These are sometimes short-lived but very intense.

What can you do about this stress?

Although related to the first one, this stress is unique because it is linked to some immediate gratification that the mind seeks. One approach to ease anxiety is to have an activity ready that you can quickly perform when in this mode. For eg. instead of checking emails every 10 seconds, you could read two chapters from your Kindle. Instead of looking at your Outlook new message indicator, you could write a couple of lines of a blog. This way, the stress of anxiety is converted into productive energy. Now, who wouldn’t want that?

The stress of work pending to be done

Then there is the stress of work pending to be done. Your to-do list has a lot getting on the list but little getting off the list. Your day seems to be busy but nothing from the list is getting done.  Everything looks important so you don’t know where to start.

What can you do about this stress?

Well, this is the one that you need to spend the most time on. You can choose any item from your to-do list but the key is to get started. There is something about progress that builds the momentum to get going. The initial inertia is the hardest. Once you start chopping off the list, you’ll automatically prioritize it in the most logical fashion. This stress is the most actionable one and the one that you need to react to. Being productive is to acknowledge this stress and respond to it with full force.

There you go - 3 strategies that you can employ today. If you don’t get it quite right, don’t stress!